If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
