drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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