I'm so fucking centered right now
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
