I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
