Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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