Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
