His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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