Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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