im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize