not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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