no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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