i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
This baby is an asshole
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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