No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize