That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
