It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
