My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
