I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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