There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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