you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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