please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize