White coat. Heels.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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