She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
