i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My penis needs a shock collar
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
