her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
