I think I died a long time ago.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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