god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
