I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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