So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
