I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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