i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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