He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
