i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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