Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
