every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
