We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
