He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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