I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
