allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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