Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
