Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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