I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
