Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
