Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Your dad touched me again.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
