you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
