ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
