Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
