Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Vodka?
Forever.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
