I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
