I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
