she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
