dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
