i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
