can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
