this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He had one of those small greek statue penises
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
