problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize