I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
