look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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