This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
