You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize