Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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