You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
