i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
My life is pants optional.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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