Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
