Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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