Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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