in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
