Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
