When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
