____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
