mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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