You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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