GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize